I didn't want to leave it too long for my next entry. It's crazy how life always keeps you busy - the last time I wasn't busy was probably that small transition after university for about a month when I was waiting for my teaching license in the mail..... I don't miss those days - but I'd like to find some laid back time without worry. I'm not too sure that's possible unless I found a sugar daddy. Today's entry is completely unplanned where I just keep typing and whatever comes out is what I publish. A bit sporatiac but keeps me fresh I guess. Teaching is pretty exhausting - and for an on again/off again perfectionist my mental sanity is somewhat in check. This weekend I'm headed off to Portugal for a trip with my Brass Band - sounds like fun except the fund'age is getting low so I don't know how cool it will be hanging out in the hotel lobby.... but budget traveling involves many survival techniques - many of which I hope to discover out of necessity :D I only have 4 more teaching days left until it is half term break: a glorious week away from school where I get to recharge my battery and feel good about sleeping in.
Sometimes I find time off is wasted. I feel too exhausted to do anything above and beyond and then when I look back at what I accomplished I feel a little disappointed. I don't seem to be making time for any projects. I hope I don't loose my creative bug. I was on the phone last night with Krystal from UVic. It was crazy how much we've grown up in the past two years. I don't feel as free spirited/king of the world anymore. It sucks when you realize your feet are back on the ground beside everyone elses. Not a slag towards them, but I always had this heightened sense of endless possibilities. I wonder how I can rediscover those inspirations? I wouldn't say that reality is far less dazzling then one imagines it to be, but I do feel like it's easy to get distracted by the little stresses and get sidetracked from your potential.
I partially link my feelings to paying off student loans - and I think once I'm controlling my disposable income I'll be a little less concerned with these matters.
A picture from my office window - the final wall came down and once the ground work is laid our new school will be built.
4 comments:
In regards to your thoughts on inspiration - I think as long as you're aware of a desire to improve yourself and a general drive to excel at whatever you do, you'll find that insipration again. Or, that potential may just be focused in other unexpected areas for the time being, which doesn't make it any less creative, just different.
Or maybe I'm just full of it.
That said... successfully running a program under your own steam, performing in a touring performance group, all done while having adventures across the whole of Europe. I find that to be inspirational.
thanks Mike :D
It's easy to get caught up in my interpretation on things - it's nice to read others perspectives and get a reality check: Solid :-)
I promise the next post will be on the lighter side :P
I agree with Mike. I think sometimes we are so swamped with everything going on in our lives that we dont take a second to stop and look at what we've accomplished in such a short time. We are all teaching now, running our own programs, while at the same time taking part in performance groups and a myriad of other activities. And for sure, I'm totally jealous of you! I cant believe you get to take a "weekend trip" to portugal. Most people would call that "living the life". You inspire me ALL the time Steve. And by the way... I miss you!! when will I get to see you again soon? ;P
Love,
Tay
merci buckets!! Mike & Tay it's nice to get some feed back every now and again. I'd like to read up on what you're experiencing as well - makes me feel normal. (hint hint hint start posting notes or a a personal journal eh???) It's kind of fun recording where you're at and comparing 2nd year vs. first year. Miss you guys - and won't be back to Canada until Xmas 2008. ~ Steve
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